Sometimes, people just catch you on an off day, causing your usual cool exterior to crack and spew forth a torrent of vitriol and abuse.  Today wasn’t one of those days, but ‘Patrick Nortoni’ managed to annoy me a great deal by posting his default spam email nonsense into the contact form on one of my sites:

We would like to get your website on first page of Google.All of our processes use the most ethical “white hat” Search Engine Optimization techniques that will not get your website banned or penalized. Please reply and I would be happy to send you a proposal. In order for us to respond to your request for information, please include your companys website address (mandatory) and or phone number.

Patrick Nortoni
patrick2316@gmail.com
SEO Company
000-000-0000

–
Sent at 21:36.21 on 22nd September 2009 from 122.160.99.22

Where to begin with this nonsense?  He sends me an non-personalised email through a mail form using a GMail address and doesn’t even bother to include a real phone number.  Hmm.. I wonder why that could be?  Let’s take a look at that IP address…

Click to view Full Image

Now I’m sure that there are plenty of hard-working, honest IT workers in India, but I never seem to meet them. All I get are the spam emails for outsourcing my web design work or – in the case of Patrick Nortoni here – my SEO work.

A quick Google search for ‘Patrick Nortoni’ throws up comment spam. Lots of comment spam. Comment spam pimping his great SEO services on pages that have absolutely nothing to do with SEO. Presumably, these are his ‘most ethical “white hat” Search Engine Optimization techniques’. Whatever, I won’t be wasting my time with this fool, and neither should you.

Update:
It’s a funny old game. This post is now 4th 2nd on Google for ‘Patrick Nortoni’, and not a comment spam in sight.