Speaking to a nice Scottish lady (sorry Nice Scottish Lady, I didn’t catch your name!) we went through a few options and I eventually plumped for:

• Free Nokia 6300
• 300 Anytime Minutes per month
• 100 Texts per month
• Unlimited Landline Calls
• £45 Account Credit

This amply covers my 100-minutes-a-month usage, though I may – may – go over the text allowance if I get carried away. Price for this package? £14-odd a month, so with the £45 credit there’s nothing to pay for the first three months.

I realise the included Nokia isn’t the most recent or even advanced of phones, but it’s the exact same phone that I have already and I’m perfectly happy with it. The new one will serve as a ‘just in case’ phone since I don’t have any form of insurance. Since I’m careful with phones anyway, there shouldn’t be a problem.

So I spent half an hour digging through the piles of (“Interesting” – K.) crap I’ve accumulated over the years and found my old Plantronics 3000 Bluetooth headset, or hands free thingy. I dusted it off and stuck it on charge and it works just fine. In fact it works better with my K610i than it ever did on my k750i, which would frequently cut out halfway through a conversation, and which was the reason I threw it onto the pile in the first place.

Of course, all this legislation is a load of wank when we already have such laws as “Driving Without Due Care and Attention” – a law that lets the police bust you for anything, not just mobile phone use. Applying your makeup? Check! Fiddling with the stereo too much? Check! Eating an Apple? Che- oh wait…

But no, the Labour government loves making new laws. It’s almost as if they’re on performance-related pay or something. K was telling me just last week that they’ve introduced a new law for every day that they’ve been in power. However did we cope without them? The country must have been in downright anarchy.

But I digress. Get yourself a Wireless Hands-Free thingy for use while driving. Don’t use them while walking around town, however, because they tend to make you look a bit of a pillock.