New Laptop Farce-o-Rama

11:55.18 - Thursday 5th April 2007   (Link to This Entry)

A month or so ago I decided to buy a new laptop, and started looking around for a machine that would meet my requirements. I needed something that was ultra portable while packing a Compact Flash slot (or PCMCIA since I have an adapter) and wireless, small enough to take onboard a plane in the new, restrictive carry-on luggage space but fast enough to be useful and with a ‘proper’ x86 CPU.

In the end there was only one machine that did everything, and even then it was lacking slightly in vertical screen resolution. The Fujitsu Siements Lifebook P1510 is a little bit old, but with an 8.9in screen and 1KG in weight I could almost fit it in a coat pocket if need be. The only problem was the price of £1300 in the UK.

So I turned to America. The law on laptops has changed recently, and you can now import units from the US without paying any Import Duty. Granted, you still have to pay VAT on top of the value of the item, but even taking the extra 17.5% into account there was still a saving of a few hundred quid to be made. Or so I thought!

Browsing through Froogle, I first came across KyraMart.com – a cheap and cheerful retailer that was the cheapest on Froogle. I sent an email off with a couple of technical questions just to confirm I could use it in the UK and, while waiting for an answer, too a few moments to read up on the company and ensure they were reputable.

Turns out they share an address with a strip club. Insert joke about lap(top) dancers here.

So I look again and the next cheapest is Computer Online. Disturbed by the KyraMart revelations I read up on this company and find some less than favourable opinions. The payments are through Yahoo stores, so I figure it must be at least semi-reputable, and I place an order. Nothing is forthcoming until an email that says they can’t process my order. I email Yahoo and they completely ignore my question. Surprise! I later find a few ‘reviews’ of Computer Online and quite a few of them mention that the owner is an arse. Strike 2 for ordering from the US.

I turn to eBay and have a look there. Turns out there are two or three for sale in the UK and I send a message with a few questions to the owner of the first one. While waiting for an answer, someone places a bid on it, removing the ‘Buy It Now’ price of £625. It eventually goes for £850 – a little more than I am willing to pay.

I bid on another (this one brand new) and snipe it at the last minute for £567 including postage – excellent! The owner emails me to say it’s been sold for £900. He put no message to this effect on the actual auction, just cancelled my bid and told me I couldn’t have it. I figure out the time he would have had to sell it and it looks suspiciously like he just didn’t want to part with it for so little – cheeky minge even tried to claim his fees back, saying I hadn’t paid / mutually agreed not to complete, despite the fact I paid within a minute of the close of auction.

So I look for another one and find one with a fairly high starting price. This usually means nobody will bid on it even if it’s an acceptable price, and I end up placing the only bid and winning the auction. I pay via PayPal as usual and… get no answer.

I check PayPal and for some reason my payment is listed as ‘Unclaimed’ for a good week. The seller eventually gets in touch to tell me I’ve underpaid (my own fault) and I cough up another £20, then sit and wait for it to be sent out. And wait… and wait… and during this time another two machines come and go on eBay.

I sent another couple of emails asking when it’ll be here and it turns out the seller went away on a long weekend and hadn’t actually sent the bloody thing. After claiming his courier account was on hold he arranged for it to be collected again and sends me the tracking number. I check Citylink’s website and sure enough, delivery is listed for the 5th April. Great! Things are finally moving!

Except I get an email on the 5th saying Citylink haven’t collected the package. Seller asks if he should bother asking them to come out again or send it Royal Mail, and I tell him to send it Special Delivery, insured for £1,000, so that it might get here for Saturday. I’m not confident though, since it’s coming up to the Easter Bank Holiday weekend and it’ll be Tuesday before I see it since I’m off back up to Scotland for a few days.

K reckons it’s cursed. I’m inclined to agree.